What is it that i really want in life? I doubt i have any goals that's realistic to me. Why am i studying in Ngee Ann's engineering course when i have zero interest at all? I want to be a estate agent but i have no idea why i'm here studying all the mathematical modules which is cracking my brain up. Well i guess this is one of the major paths of your life that you'll have to take for the sake of it.. maybe.. 

So now it comes back to life as myself.. I'm already becoming 20 already, what do i really want in life? Yes i want to be to be happy, who doesn't want to be. Depending on what choices you make in life now, it'll prolly deal a huge impact in your future, you might not feel it but perhaps next time you'll feel it till that fateful day comes. I'm not perfect, and neither anyone is. I miss being myself during the secondary times, where i don't have much thing to be bothering about. I miss all those times i only have to bball,friends,bball,friends and the cycle repeats. 

As we grow older and mature,we really start to think for our future. What's the first thing that'll come into your mind when we talk about the future? Some will say probably your cert will bring you good positions in your working life, probably some will be thinking no money no talk, we must earn it ourself be it part time job or whatsoever. Needless to say of course future's in our own hands but on the 2nd thought, if you ever know what the future lies then you can be the God up there whose looking over us. I see no future in me right now but hopefully not jobless.

What's NS? What's life after NS? Who will i eventually become? Hi guys, you don't know at all. Who knows the next moment after finish typing this post the com just explodez and i die. Everything's possible, everything is fucking possible. Take a look around your circle of friends, know who your true friends are, know who are those that will stand with you till the end of your breath. I've already pictured mine every single day, and i'm contented. I feel so happy to have each and single one of them. They mean so much so much so much to me ( keong,chant,whitney you are included!) I don't want to miss out any single fun with them because i want my life to be at it's peakest happiness everyday. 


I pity myself for being me sometimes. I fucking don't know how to handle situations, and juggle everything all at one go but it's kept all inside me. I don't want people to know how frail i can be. I want to be strong, i want to look strong on the outside but fucken hell, it's that weak inside. All the complicating heart affairs. I fucking hate it but at the same time lovin' it. 


Why do thoughts always wander themselves and bringing me to another dimension? Perhaps i think only at the other dimension, we see ourselves immersing in eternity freedom, pure happiness. What's more better than that? Unrealistic, yes it is. It doesn't hurt to dream and to believe in it. Everyone pictures different thing at the back of their head but only to those who believe it in will see the light. So what if you fall? So what if you fail? Pick yourself up and continue walking.. look around yourself and be glad that your friends are there for you. I'm willing to take this fall even though it hurts because i know it's worth that fall. Be sure to know how to be contented with what you have.


Now go and tell to all your friends whom you hang out outside with, to whomever boyfriend/girlfriend sleeping next to you, be it your mum whose washing your dish for you, your granny whose rocking her leg sitting at the couch everyday enjoying life. Pop them a msg and tell them you love them, tell them how much you love them because you'll never have a second chance if they are gone. It's all gonna be too late to say so. 


I think i need a stick or two right now.. hmm shi bu cuo de ma? I'm not being emoistic.. i'm just feeling hmmm.. okay wait a little emo like 30%. The rest of the 70% goes to cant wait to meet up with the buddiez again and go wild. Okay cravings really setting in.. imma puff now guys bye!